Under.Stood

This happens more often than it should.
That feeling of attraction or longing to a particular someone gets all muddled up by everything else... the rest. Kinda like standing in a perfume shop and try to pick out a scent. Unless your name is Grenouille the chances are pretty slim.
We like being understood, 'we' as beings. Being understood kinda sets up a connection. We go out with somebody and talk about ourselves over drinks and dinner to really establish a level of understanding. Something else then builds on top of that I guess. These connection happens at the most unexpected places too, but alot of that is probably make-belief or some element of suspension of disbelief.
So often I hide to avoid it.

Now I really miss that bold connection.

Random acts of sweetness (part 1?)

Being loaded up with pain killers might have something to do with it... maybe even boredom but mostly they were random acts of kindness. Or just being a little more proactive. Most construct needs rules and reasons to make sense but the one that matters the most - almost always - overwritten by random odds.
A simple random act of kindness where its intention is no more calculated then where the 63rd raindrop of a thunder storm may fall in relation to an Okapi in African jungle. The sugary exchange today in both cases came swift but ever so slightly uneasy. An act that at its best will only conjure up some element of surprise and even some confusion (mostly definitely) but it was good enough of a reason to just, be, exactly what it is.
Rather unnerving to know that a simple act can unhinge all that matters. A simple act of discreet disguise, perhaps, with the intention to protect and shield those by assumption. A simple act that turns all decision - of decisions that was and ever will be into a by product of a series of compromise, lies and secrets.


Random, perhaps, is not nearly as arbitrary as it may seems.